Alzheimer's Club

By Nanci G. Hutson

Snuggling arm and arm on a couch in their Sullivan Farm living room, every now and then sneaking a tender kiss, Joe and Mieke Michael seem the epitome of newlywed bliss.

They are, however, approaching their 68th wedding anniversary.

Theirs is an abiding love, one that has long inspired their four adult children, five grandchildren, three great-grandchildren, in-laws, friends and strangers.

"They're unbelievable," says their youngest daughter, Felicia, born on her father's 43rd birthday. "They were always in love. Sure, they've had their conflicts and struggles like any couple, but what prevailed was this underlying devotion to each other. It was astonishing to witness. Very rare."

Even today, when half of this whole is suffering from a disease that robs its victims of their memories, Joe and Mieke, at 90 and 88 respectively, are true lovers.

Eighteen months ago, Joe was diagnosed with Alzheimer's disease, a progressive terminal illness with no known cure.

On May 3, New Milford will have its first Memory Walk to benefit Alzheimer's research.

"I love him more than ever, and now is when he needs me most,'' said Mieke, a vivacious and elegant woman who was a Dutch folk singer in the 1950s, performing at Radio City Music Hall, Carnegie Hall and the old Danbury Fair. She still receives royalties from the recording "Greetings from Holland" she made with partner Nina Dunkel, who died years ago of pancreatic cancer.

Pulling her close to his side,

Joe displays a toothy smile. "I'm lucky to have this one," he says.
Joe Michael was born in Danbury and lived in Redding for 40 years. He was the national sales director for Encyclopedia Britannica, a chairman of the Redding school board, and in the Eisenhower years ran unsuccessfully as a Democrat for state Senate.

The couple retired to their summer home in West Hampton, Long Island, then moved to New Milford three years ago. Of their children, Felicia lives closest -- just two miles away, while Kim lives in Newtown, Vicki in Virginia, and Richard in Texas.

Joe wags his finger at the woman he proposed to on their first date. He still calls his bride.

"I love you," Joe declares.

"I love you, too," Mieke answers as she hems a pair of his pants.

Joe grins wider.

"Can you believe I was able to convince her to marry me?" Joe asks some visiting guests. He quickly adds, "That's before I had Alzheimer's."

The disease, Mieke said, is " a challenge every day. I never know what's going to happen."

The fireplace in their condominium is chain locked because one morning he apparently placed a burning log on the nearby floor and started a small fire.

"She gives me heck," Joe says with a chuckle. "But I enjoy it. I'm very fortunate."

Felicia's husband, Bob Brophy, becomes teary-eyed.

"They've always been so positive and pleasant all their lives,'' Brophy said of the couple, nicknamed Muzzy and Duzzy. "They can draw on that now. But a lot of these changes are hard."

Joe is a handsome, charming man with thick, wavy white hair who looks far younger than his chronological age. His healthy appearance can deceive those unaware of the debilitating illness that is ever so slowly taking him away.

He no longer remembers his phone number, address, or days of the week. He repeats stories from 65 years ago, but cannot remember what he did a few minutes earlier. He recognizes family, but new acquaintances he is likely to forget.

"He hasn't forgotten me yet," Mieke said.

His family is not certain Joe knows what is happening to him, though he is able to give a few answers.

"You forget," Joe said of his disease. "You don't maintain mentally, so you rely on your old mentality. The best way I deal with it is that I married a brilliant woman."

"We're dealing with it," Mieke said, "and dealing with it in style."

Contact Nanci G. Hutson

at nhutson@newstimes.com

or at (860) 354-2274.

Alzheimer's disease facts

Alzheimer's disease -- a progressive, terminal illness -- is the most common form of dementia, affecting some 5 million people a year. It is the seventh leading cause of death in the U.S. Age is the top risk factor.

The average illness lasts between three and 20 years.

The leading symptoms are:

Forgetfulness severe enough to affect work, hobbies and social life.

Inability to recall information.

Short-term memory loss.

A decline in ability to write, speak or understand written or spoken words.

Loss of visual spatial abilities, such as map reading skills, and ability to understand symbols and signals.

Inability to make plans, resolve problems or complete tasks.

There is no known cause or cure for Alzheimer's disease.

The Connecticut chapter of the national Alzheimer's Association tries to reduce the risk of dementia by promoting brain health. It participates in national research efforts to find a cure.

For more information, call (860) 828-2828 or visit www. alz.org/ct.

Source: newstimes.com (23 April 2008) [FullText]

Labels: Alzheimer's family stories